Rainbow Struck Me Hard

I've been feeling really down and lonely recently :'(
I don't know why i felt this way..
My heart had this weird feeling that i can't even explain how does it really feel
I feel as everything around me want to knock me down
Each night i cried myself to sleep
Wake up with swollen eyes
I feel like no one understand me
Keep comparing me with someone better than me
Why? Why would you all do that?
Wouldn't it be a boring world if everyone is the same?
Maybe this time i'm at the bottom
but surely next time i will be on the top
I'll make you all speechless
I hope that i get a second chance to do better
I'll promise i won't let it go waste this time
I'll keep my promise, believe in myself that i can do it
cause nothing is IMPOSSIBLE, the word itself says I'M POSSIBLE
Let God answer all my prayers and lead me to a better life, better world, becoming better person
Amen

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It's almost Christmas, the meaningful celebration for Christian..
Although it's still Advent but i surely can already hear the Christmas carols..
Those sweet voices singing really brightens up this holidays season..
Here on my hometown, the weather getting colder these few days..
But there is no hope for snowing
knowing that Malaysia doesn't have 4 seasons..
Geez, how i wish i can wear those mitten, scarf and snow cap in this season
Building snowman and playing snowball..
I want that! haha~ Well, i can still see it overseas but when??
I want a real snow.. Not some artificial one..
Let's hope i can go overseas someday..
I'm aiming for Japan and Korea!!!

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People attempted suicide just because of break up..
People killing other people because of power..
People leaving their family because of selfishness..
People suffering because of war..
Just how did it turn out to be this way?
We all should appreciate our life that given by God himself..
We should paint our life with various beautiful colors..
Not with hatred, darkness, pain and selfishness
or even negative thought..
We live only once..
Of course it's a fact that all people will eventually die someday..
But should we suffer while we living?
Should we be negative while living?
The answer is no!
When we suffer in life, we always said that it was our fate to suffer in our life..
But don't you think we can change our painful fate to a better one by working a little bit harder?
If you're not dare to try harder,
 then you are a FAILURE from the start..
As for me, i am changing myself to a better person..
I want to enjoy my life while i still live..
Although i experienced hatred, pain and all the negative things,
i still trying harder to received happiness and warmth in my life..
YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE!
THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN CHANGE YOU IS YOURSELF!
So, appreciate your life more..
Because it is the most precious gift that God give to mankind..

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Each day i woke up with a hope to feel happiness in life
the tears from last night has dried up
and a chance to feel happiness will not be taken lightly
i have to end my misery
loving others is easy but receiving the same thing is a different thing
when sadness seems to control my life
music will always be my comforter
singing my heart out
forgetting all the things that sadden me
sometimes i cried myself to sleep
soaking my eyes with liters of tears
waking up with awful face
i don't care as long as i can swept away the sadness in me
but life doesn't always that awful
sometimes warmth will surround you
giving all the love and happiness you needed
Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room
so if you see darkness in your life
be reassured that a beautiful picture is being prepared

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Life.. of course there will always be hardship
Life.. of course there will always be pain
Life.. of course there will always be darkness
But above all, life is full of warmth and love once you have faith in HIM
because life is full of little surprises especially when you least expect them..♥

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I have lost from God for years... like a black sheep, i walk alone in an empty street with only my dark shadow still there for me... i try to find my way home but it's just too impossible that i could, with all the sins that i have done that still fresh in my memories, its just too impossible to go home... when things started to get worst and worst, i ran away but i can't hide myself... its like all the bad memories did not know the true meaning of give up that they still haunting my life... all of a sudden, my mind click to do something that people said as "an out of your mind thingy..." that is the shortest way to forget all the bad things that is to kill myself...
so i find a tallest building which is the suitable place to ensure my plan success... when i'm about to jump off the building, something soft or something warmth touch me and prevent me from falling down..It's the Angels... whispering softly with gentle words to my ears telling me not to give up in life... telling me to keep strong and always trust myself... and suddenly my vision became dark... when i woke up, i find myself lying on the foot of the building,unhurt...
i feel very thankful to God that i still alive, knowing that He still have the love for me, i decided to stand for myself once again by changing the negative me to a positive me...
So, i tried and tried to find my way home again and again without feeling wanting to give up... At last, i have found my way home... but i only found the door to my home...still wandering around to look for the key that used to unlock the door to my home.........

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